Marriage

Negative influence of divorce and separation on children.

In Nigeria, divorce and separation have done more harm than good in the life of some children. It has gone farther than what it was meant for which is peace. What is the negative influence of divorce and separation on the children?

It is alright for couples to go their separate ways than to die in abuse. I can never encourage an abusive marriage. I can only preach that couples avoid the negative influence of divorce and separation on children by being more tolerant, loving and responsible.

As couples separate or divorce, the woman leaves the house of the man with the children and some without. These children grow up in one parent’s house with the stories (fabricated and not) being told by the parent they are living with. Some of the children develop “unforgettable and unforgivable” hatred for the parent they are not living with.

A girl has lived with regrets because she hated her father till death only to find out the painful truth behind her parent’s separation during the burial. She refused visiting her father when he was sick shortly before he passed on because of the lies her mother told her. The mother is on the verge of facing her worse fear which is being separated from her. Karma is real!

Let me open our eyes to reality, in a separated home, a partner might be guilty then still have custody of the children, then some tend to shift the blame to the other partner painting them black before the children so they will not think of leaving. This is wrong of any parent who engage in such act.

To the children, some parents are suffering innocently because lies has been cooked up against them by the other parent for fear of losing you. That you grew up in the house of one of your parents does not mean that the other is wicked and should be abandoned. Maybe he/she is even  wounded emotionally because of your “absence” in their lives. The one you are living with might be the reason behind the separation.

Don’t get me wrong. Before you condemn and crucify any of your separated parent because of hearsay, make sure to ask to know the truth. Do not just conclude on one-sided story, try to listen to both sides before you act.

To the parents that will spoils the name of the other before the children so they can hate to the last, desist from it. Be careful how you feed your children with lies. Try not to forget that no matter how long it takes, truth must certainly prevail. Allow your children to love, visit their separated parent and stop spoiling their minds. Both of you played a part in bringing them forth.

Can we live happily?

Yes! If we try to see love as more of surrender than being expectant, we can actually avoid the negative influence of divorce and separation on children. Below is a piece of advice from me:

To the loving men, shun your chauvinist dispositions, it has destroyed enough, be more loving and accommodating for wives aren’t slaves, respect her and help her to be the woman you desire. Stop making her drench her bed every night in tears. Always see her like a baby and treat her right so that you both can live happily.

To the priceless women, respect your husbands, be loving too, help him to be the man you desire, avoid hasty decisions it hurts at the long run, you are a home builder, build your dynasty rather than destroying it, choose your friends and those you share your challenges with because some are in your life to ignite fire. Be the woman the man can’t live without.

To the children, don’t hate your parents because of what you heard, hear from both sides and be loving. Learn how to make peace between your parents. Don’t be that child that always instigate quarrel between parents. Don’t form a fighting team, a home is not a wrestling ground. Love them equally so you can enjoy the love of a happy family.

Live in Peace!

Say no to abuse and other vices that bring about divorce and separation.

Together we can make this vanity world a sweet one. Who knows if we can change, maybe death will become history.

 

PHOTO CREDIT: Mr & Mrs Efoma.

 

Check out other blog post https://www.jecintaamaka.com/promiscuity-and-spouse-location/

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5 Comments

  1. Great thoughts. I have always believed that societal problems were the accumulated family problems. Before we can solve societal problems we have to begin from the family.

    Broken homes. Bad marriages. Divorce. Violence. All these are not helping. Families need to stay together to raise children that can amend the future.

    We really need to rebuild our homes.

    Nice piece Amaka. Cheers!

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